The National Association of Catholic Chaplains

Menu
  • Membership
      • Apply for Membership
      • Frequently-Asked Questions about Membership
      • Request Retired Membership
      • State Liaisons
      • Newest Members
      • Membership Directory
      • Member map
      • Celebrating Our Members’ 25-year Membership and Certification
      • In Memoriam: deceased NACC members
    • Close
  • Certification
    • Initial Board Certification
      • Board Certified Chaplain (BCC)
      • Certified Associate Chaplain (CAC)
      • Palliative Care and Hospice Advanced Certification (PCHAC)
      • VA Initial Board Certification
      • Recognition of Strategic Partners Board Certification
      • Newly Certified Chaplains
      • Close
    • Renewal of Certification
    • Certification Competencies & Procedures
      • Certification Competencies & Procedures
      • Important Background on NACC Certification Competencies
      • Professional Code of Ethics for Spiritual Care Professionals
      • Certification Commission
      • Certification Appeals Panel
      • Ethics Appeals Panel
      • Close
    • Mentors
    • Recognition of Strategic Partners Board Certification
    • Verifying Certification
    • Maintaining Certification in Retirement
    • Graduate Theological Programs
    • Close
  • Education Resources
      • 2023 Retreat
      • 2023 Webinar Series
      • Recorded webinars (2009-2022)
      • Calendar of Events
      • Graduate Theological Programs
      • CPE Programs
      • NACC Professional Networking Calls
      • Continuing Education Hour Requests – Guidelines and Forms
      • Ongoing Educational Opportunities
      • Local/Regional Gatherings & Events
      • Past Conferences (2004 – 2022)
      • Vision
    • Close
  • Resources
    • Antiracism Resources
    • Administrator Resources
    • Awareness Resources
    • Chaplaincy Care Resources
    • Coronavirus Resources & Updates
    • Job Listings
    • The Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling
    • Partners in Pastoral Care
    • Research
    • Specialty Care Resources
    • Spirituality and Prayer Resources
    • Spiritual Care Department Resources
    • Vision
    • Close
  • About NACC
    • About the NACC
      • Mission/Vision/Values
      • Constitution and ByLaws
      • Strategic Plan
      • History
      • Close
    • Annual Awards
    • Association Leadership
      • NACC Board of Directors
      • Committees, Commissions, and Panels
      • National Office Staff
      • Episcopal Advisory Council
      • Close
    • Catholic Prison Ministries Coalition (CPMC)
    • Choose Chaplaincy
    • Health Care Collaborators
    • NACC Merchandise
    • NACC Publications and Documents
      • Vision
      • NACC Now
      • Annual Reports & Financial Reviews
      • Documents and publications
      • NACC Blog
      • Close
    • Partners in Pastoral Care
    • Partners for Professional Excellence in Spiritual Care
    • Vision
    • Close
  • Choose Chaplaincy
  • Contact Us
      • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

    • Close
  • Donate Now
  • Member Login
Home » Vision » November-December 2020 » Love wins. Prayer works. The spirit survives.

Love wins. Prayer works. The spirit survives.

By Mary T. Tracy

Why do I sometimes struggle to gracefully accept these lovely expressions of thanks to “those of us on the front lines”? Is it because I do not feel worthy to be counted among the ranks of janitors, food service workers, nurses, social workers, physicians, administrators, techs and therapists? Is it because there is so much work yet to do? Is it because I know that all the work I am contributing still will not be enough to spare everyone from suffering?

I don’t know.

So I have made make a list of the things I DO know, that get me out of bed every morning and give me comfort enough to fall asleep at night:

  1. Love wins.
  2. Prayer works.
  3. Grief is the healthiest gateway through experiences that reveal our lack of power.
  4. The spirit survives and turns our suffering, endured with love, into compassion.

C.S. Lewis described love (in the context of the Christian responsibility to love one’s neighbor) as desiring the good of the other purely for the sake of the other. It does not require liking one’s neighbor or condoning bad behavior. Properly employed, it sets the lover free to do the right thing – the loving thing – regardless of how it may inconvenience self or others.

I believe that we are oriented to love one another – and ourselves – in just this way. That is how we are naturally made. With luck and effort, we continue not only to love one another but we understand that it is worth the sacrifice that love requires and makes bearable. Sacrifice is required not only to give love, but also to receive love. By our inherent vulnerability, we learn about the sacrifice of receiving love first, as we receive it as infants from those we depend on for our very survival.

Gradually, we also learn the joy and power of giving love. We learn that it feels good to give our accomplishments to people who love us so much that they actually treasure our work (or at least our effort). Then, we learn how good it feels to share with our peers in more of a mutual power dynamic.

And yet, very near the beginning of our discovery of the power of love, we also learn the pain of grief, when our love is not reciprocated or received as we intend. Just when we begin to sense the power inherent in our ability to love, we also learn the limits of our power. We learn that love is not control.

This brings me to my conviction that prayer works. When we learn humility – loving without expecting control or safety or any particular benefit at all – we also gain incredible freedom to act as lovingly as we desire. It is also natural to feel shaken and disturbed when we encounter suffering both near and far, in loved ones and in perfect strangers. Those of us who have chosen healthcare as our mission have likely already had this awareness that we would rather run toward those in harm’s way, not away from them.

I speculate that the ER doctor in a New York hospital who recovered from COVID-19 was grieved not only to be ill, but to have lost – even temporarily – his channel for loving and serving others. It is a double grief. Fortunately, this Dr. Maldonado found a new source of gratitude in his increased capacity for empathy towards his future patients.

Thus, grief acknowledges that our feeling of control will ultimately fail. Education and training, our health, the health and life of loved ones, our sterling character, our trust in any human endeavor – all are good and worthy of our attention, but none of them can perfectly protect against mass disaster or mortality.

Where our power fails, prayer allows us to acknowledge our grief and honor our desire for the good of ourselves, our loved ones and even strangers near and far. We acknowledge all that we do not control and yet still desire. Prayer assures us that our struggle matters and is not in vain. Prayer provides a healthy channel for our hope, particularly when we dig a little deeper than our surface needs and desires. Prayer allows the heart to speak honestly, generously, of how love wins. It can allow the fog of grief to yield to the genuine power we do have – the invitations to act on our compassion that we have been missing, out of frustration, sorrow and anger over the power we have lost.

Prayer works because it also allows us to hear from our most reliable advocate – our spirit. I am convinced that the spirit is our indestructible center. Regardless of how fragile or broken we may be physically, mentally, emotionally, our spirit advocates for us, for our true hope, our true good. Ironically, our spirit can be quite shy, too gentle to be heard in the midst of normal daily life. When we take down time – by choice or by circumstance – we can discover the spirit’s encouragement that suggests a new or rediscovered hope that reorients our actions, our purpose, and our identity.

I alone can hear my own spirit. You alone can hear yours. We each must find our own way to hear our spirit speaking. For some, it may be talking with a friend. For others, it may be working in the garden or walking in a beautiful place. For still others, it may require writing from the heart just for one’s own eyes. I myself use all of these methods for attending to my own indestructible spirit. I invite you to do the same.

Mary T. Tracy, BCC, is a staff chaplain at Inova Fairfax Medical Center and Inova Schar Cancer Institute in Fairfax, Virginia.


November/December 2020 | Vol. 30, No. 6
Printable PDF version

Mental Well-Being in the Time of Covid


As pandemic challenges minds and spirits, we find new ways to cope

How to celebrate the new year at a safe distance – and other COVID-19 rituals

Telechaplaincy represents new opportunity for parish ministry

Pandemic puts unique strains on pediatric hospitals

‘One day at a time,’ we can get through anything

Virtual rituals help families cope with loss

Pandemic strains our mental health in unexpected ways

Chaplains can help families work through grief

15-minute daily pause is enough to improve mental health

Love wins. Prayer works. The spirit survives.


Current issue | Archive of back issues | About Vision

National Association of Catholic Chaplains
4915 S. Howell Avenue, Suite 501
Milwaukee, WI 53207
Get Directions

Phone: (414) 483-4898
Fax: (414) 483-6712
Email: info@nacc.org

Our office hours
Mon-Thur 8:00am – 5:00pm Central Time
Friday 8:00am – 12 Noon
Sat-Sun closed

Job Listings

Current job opportunities for chaplains, priests, CPE residents, supervisors, directors of pastoral care, managers, mission directors, and more.

Job Listings

Free Publications

Don’t miss the latest news, subscribe to our newsletter today! You don’t have to be a member to subscribe.

Donate Now

Learn more about making a tax-deductible donation to NACC.

Donate Now

Connect with us

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube
© 1997 - 2023 National Association of Catholic Chaplains - Sitemap

Built by Westwords