Love yourself as you love others, White reminds audience - The National Association of Catholic Chaplains

By David Lewellen
Vision editor

Take time for yourselves and don’t be afraid to say no, Vanessa White told NACC members in her high-energy plenary speech.

Pacing around the stage and using the altar for effect, White, an assistant professor of spirituality and ministry at Catholic Theological Union, told the gathering about the various holes she has fallen into in her life — some far more often than once. “I’m concerned about the un-health of ministers,” she said. “We have perpetuated unhealthy ways of being role models who work 24-7 saying yes to everything.” Once, she said, she felt drained and decided to add something restorative to her schedule — “so I did high-school retreats” — which drew a guffaw from the audience.

But in truth, she was just crowding more things in, including teaching others about spirituality and health when she had little of either. “All of us have holes that we fall into,” she said. “I fall into the hole of saying yes. Of starting tomorrow.”

“A lot of us are able to talk a good talk,” White said. “Hello? We know what others should be doing, but we’re not doing it ourselves.” She herself had no spiritual director for five years, she said, adding “As long as you hide your illness, you cannot be cured.” Thinking about the second great commandment to love your neighbor as yourself, she asked, “How do we love ourselves? Loving myself? I thought that was selfish. But if you do not love yourself, how you love others? And God will be out of balance.”

Papers rustled and pens clicked as White put up a slide of five practices for busy chaplains: Honor the body, take sabbaticals, enjoy life, cultivate an attitude of gratitude, and pray.

“If you do not love yourself, how you love others? And God will be out of balance.”

The body is a temple, White said, and no one would throw trash in a sanctuary, so we should avoid eating highly processed food. At prior times in her life, she said, “my car became my cafeteria.” She told the story of how her sister fell ill and went to the emergency room, where the staff said she was dehydrated and hooked her up to an IV. “That was the most expensive water she ever had,” she said, deadpan. “If you can’t think of something, drink some water. Your thought will come back.” (In the hallways and exhibit area, that line was often repeated during the weekend at any temporary memory lapse.)

Forcing herself to block off sabbatical time, even if it’s only a few hours a week, has been vital, White said. It can be a time to do any restorative self-care activity. “Not taking sabbatical is saying that you’re greater than God,” she said. She encouraged chaplains to make a list of their top 10 favorite things; if they go a month without doing any, it’s a danger sign.

During the question period, White re-affirmed that she does block off sabbatical time every week, and she lost weight with the help of the book Food Rules by Michael Pollan. In encouraging her listeners to say no sometimes, she said, “The good news is, there is a God. The better news is, it’s not you.” Saying no to more responsibilities, she said, forces bosses to look further and to give others a chance to carry out a mission.

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