Reverend Pamela Cicioni

A Day in the life of a Chaplain
Mercy Health System - NWA

It started, as always, as I entered the front doors of the hospital repeating of the words “So by the Grace of God go I”. And my day of Chaplaincy began….

Let me say…Chaplains are seen wandering the halls and stopping to talk, we are seen having a cup of coffee with someone in a quiet corner, we are by the side of patients each and every day and we are present as a vital part of the Hospital team in emergencies, surgeries, and death….”So by the Grace of God GO WE…”  We must evoke a gentle presence of calm in the midst of moments of fear and trauma.  We listen diligently to the difficult words that come as people try to explain their deepest thoughts.  By our nature and our Presence, we represent the Presence of God, of Spirit, of Hope…many times not by words or scripture or prayers, many times it’s just in presence.

So on this day, I’m first greeted by a man who is waiting for me at 6:30 am. He has brought his neighbor in for emergency…patient is now having heart cath done…wife is at home with Alzheimers…”what should I do now?” he asks...and my day begins.

Soon, a staff member walks up to me and says “I don’t want to live anymore”….we go and talk…her husband of many years has died of cancer…

As I begin rounding the patients are preparing for surgery and this patient, surrounded by his family says “Chaplain Pamela, you’ve been with me many a time and I don’t know if it’s worth it to keep fighting…I’m tired”…so I sit down….

Soon I remember to check with staff who has just had biopsy for possible recurring cancer and he speaks of this day and what we know and of future and what might be…hard…important for him to have a safe place to just be…he asks as I leave “please find me before you leave because I’ll have news…find me!”

Then the day moves on with young adult emergency surgery…surrounded by peers after surgery…beautiful sight, friends and family! Sick children…weary parents…yet babies getting better…slowly, slowly….the day marches on…

Then as I close my door to go home... a staff member comes running… “Pamela, my house is on fire…come with me”…we arrive as the flames are being doused and the house is destroyed…The Rogers Fire Department and Prairie Creek Fire Team; as able, approached and greet us with compassion and they were glad to see me, because we walk side by side almost everyday in Mercy’s ER….I stay by her side, the Chief tells us of the death of the three children’s pets, of the loss of most everything.  We wait for husband and children to arrive; one by one…teams begin to gather “what can we do?”…I stay by her side and with each approach of family seeing the reality of loss…we relive our beginning moments. Then when I feel comfortable…I walk away because all are in good hands.  As I drive away, my eyes fill with tears for I saw a horrific sight that then reminded me of last week’s fire which I worked. The woman in the house fire and her husband died, then I remembered and remembered…and I drove towards my empty hundred year old farm house in the historic district and I was shaking …so I turned on 1st street and about 6:30p.m. I stood looking at the great big doors of Fire Station One. Just as I step out unto the street one of those great big doors opened and a huge fire truck pulled out slowly, no flashing lights on, and the truck approached me.  The driver looked down and said “Pamela what are you doing?”…and I asked “are you going to another fire?”  “No. Pamela, what’s going on?”

I couldn’t talk and I remember just holding on to the door handle of the truck looking up to him and then the other fire men jumped down and the Lieutenant came around gave me a hug and said “Back it up boys” and he took me inside and the others joined in…we sat and talked about what we had just experienced, for they too had worked the fire…then each of them began recalling events they worked with me over the last 4 weeks and we counted 7 huge traumas and then one man said … “Pamela ... I was there when your momma died in your parents’ house fire 12 years ago…”

I just turned onto 1st Street …because “So by the grace of God go I” and in those cherished moments with those firemen we shared deeply each of our thoughts about moments we’ve all had…it was good for all of us last night.  In that quiet fire station…

And when we gave our hugs and said goodnight, I asked “where were you heading out to?” and one of the guys said, “we were heading to a meeting”.  The Lieutenant quickly said “this time has been more important than any meeting tonight!